The Measuring Man

The Measuring Man came and measured for the new cabinets - not just the kitchen, but the bathroom vanities and the bar area.  It took about two hours, and he will load it into a CAD program for the designer, and we will sit down and play with options.  The designer is on vacation until the 24th, but that's fine with me; it'll take me that long to change my mind about my selections at least six times.  :-)

He pointed out another good reason to go with laminate countertops - his company will be doing the installation, and if I go with laminate they'll handle that too, while solid surface and granite are handled by other contractors.  Having the same people coordinating all of the installation is a huge plus. When I did the kitchen in the house I lived without a kitchen counter for weeks, and then had to wait again for them to come out to anchor the new dishwasher, because the dishwasher installer was not allowed to drill into granite.   The scale is definitely tipping to the laminate side. And it looks like this. 

He also had some good suggestions for cabinets that would create angles and dimensions in the room, instead of just flat cabinets against the wall.  Bump out the cabinet over the fridge, put a nice big lazy susan cabinet in the corner, and of course I'm already hellbent on my big pantry cabinet.   The cabinets over the sink will be larger, the lighting will be much better, etc.

So, a plan is coming together.  Cabinets will go in first, followed by tearing up the whole place for flooring,  followed by finishing touches like getting rid of the 80s light fixtures, wallpaper, etc. etc.  Some of that I can do myself, but the stuff involving electricity and 16 foot ceilings, I ain't touching. 

It IS a small kitchen.

With original everything.  Note the "top of the line in 1984" range, with its own microwave built-in above. 

And a rockin' 80s wet bar!  You can tell it's a wet bar because it has a teeny weeny sink, and mirrored walls.  No place to put a small wine cooler, or any other actual nifty bar things. The sink is coming out, and I have to put some thought into what I want to do with this space. 

 Onward, to the guest bathroom, with the charming wallpaper, popping at the seams all over.

(Believe me, I saw far worse than this while I was looking, and have seen far worse showing houses.)

And I cannot forget this!  This is a huge fan on a long hanging rod, over the tiny eating area in the kitchen.  It looks a bit like the nose of a vintage prop plane - like the plane crashed nose first through the roof, and the propeller is somehow hanging by a thread over the eating area.  Off-center, of course, because nothing in this place is squared, centered, or in any way normal.  It's all angles and corners and high ceilings, which is visually wonderful and makes it feel really spacious, but it IS a design challenge.

If I'm lucky, Phase One of the makeover will be done by Labor Day Weekend.

Okay, Maybe Two Updates a Week.

I might make three updates this week yet, because the crazy has left the building at work, and I didn't come home today in need of soothing knitting, meditation, and a couple-three beers. 

The end of last week and the first three days of this one were...interesting. I'm torn between sharing details of the petty, inane, truly middle-school girl behavior on the part of the woman who really wants to retire, and just letting it go because to talk about it gives it a power it definitely does not deserve.  And also realizing that if I shared it, it would sound so impossibly stupid, you'd swear I was making it up.  (Being berated about the paper she was using not being white enough, because the bright white paper was not really brightly white enough, because it was a brand she didn't buy, was perhaps the final Kiss My Ass Kodak Moment. I could just stand there gawking at her in disbelief. Hint: I'm quite sure she didn't notice until she saw the label.)

It was a week of an undertone of petty criticism, martyrdom, some flat-out rudeness, and entirely either self-created or manufactured from nothing drama. I didn't rise to the baiting, I smiled, nodded, said "Noted," and let it go, but came home drained.  I didn't spend 25 years in real estate, real estate law, construction and development to get berated about the brightness of the brand of copy paper.  (Because the brightness of the whiteness will make all the difference in how the governmental agency will judge the technical and detailed substance of the submission, you know. It'll all come down to whether the paper is really, really brightly white, or just really brightly white.) And actually, she admitted that there was PLENTY of the brand she preferred on hand for her project and she didn't have to sully her hands with the Obviously Inferior Brand I chose.  Nonetheless, I was Called Out publicly for not buying the same brand of paper SHE bought.

Seriously, this level of inane horseshit ruled my week. That was just ONE thing, but it does sort of sum up where we are right now.  I'm guessing she's also pissed that we have nicer soap and even luxury hand lotion in the ladies room now. Though that was contributed by another colleague, I'm sure it was seen as more evidence of my diabolical scheme. I wish I had a diabolical scheme; it would make this easier. As it is, I figure it out day by day.

Giving up control is hard. I really do get that.  I came into this job with a ton of empathy, and wanted to work with her and take over the reins so she could retire and relax, and for a few weeks, I thought it would work out well.  Apparently that was premature.  Apparently we are in the petty bullshit/denial/bargaining/grief stage of the transition.  And I still feel for her, but  of course the irony is that if I could retire tomorrow, I'd be done with work so fast I'd leave smoking skidmarks on the ground. 

I realize that I am now the intruder in her personal drama, and I try very hard to keep a low profile and not step on her toes. So I nodded, I smiled, I shrugged off a lot of crap, I made small talk and sweet talked when she would speak to me at all.  I did a lot of pointless things and I put up with a lot of nonsense, and I didn't rise to the bait and call out the bullshit, because I knew that was what she wanted - a fight.  I'm far too old and tired to rise to that kind of bait.

I didn't bother the boss with it. I'll wait until we have a general sit-down about general issues, and then I'll calmly raise issues that stand in the way of work getting done, without mentioning the unfortunate not quite whiteness enough of the paper.  I know he gets it, and I know that he knows he's gotta deal with it, and I am sure as shit staying out of it. And if he so much as hints that he wants me to deal with her, then, and only then, I will fight. With him, not her. Because fuck that: you made this staffing mess; you get to fix it. 

Fortunately, after her cameo appearances this week, she has vanished again.  I will figure out an way to deal with this bullshit before her next guest appearance.

I have cabinet chips. I have flooring sample.  I have a guy coming to measure the entire place on Saturday. This will be an all summer project, assuming there are no major storm disruptions.  I swear I will post before pictures this weekend, along with pictures of the chips of the cabinet, against the floor I have pretty much chosen.  Do I go with light cabinets, dark countertop, mid-tone floor?  Light countertop?  I do know that most kitchen magazines don't help.  It's all these McMansion things with giant islands with bookcases and four barstools, and another kitchen entirely with its own acre of granite behind. I want to see a magazine with a 10x10 kitchen, and NOT in a million dollar NY loft.   Maybe that's my next path - "Low Budget Decor!" Not "No Budget" I think that's been done. But where millions of homeowners are right now: "Okay, your house isn't worth what you wish it was, and it still needs stuff."  I want THAT guide.  Is tile that looks like hardwood a trend with staying power?  What the hell do you do with an old 80s built-in wet bar in the 21st century?  These are the questions I ponder, when I'm not lying awake at night, agonizing about the bright whiteness of the paper.  /snark.

A Successful Weekend.

After a helluva hard week, in which I was officially declared no longer allowed to claim "I'm new" anymore, even though my boss is the first to say it takes a year to even figure out what's going on (I'm just hitting the 3 month mark this week), which I didn't hesitate to point out to him.  He was undeterred - "But you're really smart, it hasn't taken you long at all!" Yeah, I also used my supernatural telepathic talents to learn everything going on that isn't written down anywhere - oh, wait.... OMG, the weekend loomed, which this weekend meant I had two glorious hot and stormy days of DOINGALLTHEOTHERSHITTHATDIDN'TGETDONEDURINGTHEWEEK.  Yeah. Very relaxing.

Actually, it was quite okay!  Saturday morning I ran errands and then went to my women's coffee meetup. I fully admit that I joined this group a year or so ago as a business-generating networking thing, but I continue to go because I really enjoy the women.  It is the most DIVERSE group of women I've met in 30+ years in Central Florida.  We really do span the globe with an incredible cross-cultural mix, and they are nearly all over 40, educated, and interesting.  Our coffees are usually a riot.   At least, usually - yesterday's coffee degenerated into a discussion of communication and then into a round of "You think YOUR ex-husband was an asshole?" storytelling.  That's not the usual tone and direction, and I sat there idly stirring the straw in my raspberry lemonade, listening and commenting now and then. 

We do have one member who frustrates me - I want to take her for a makeover and then give her a massive kick in the ass.  She's sweet, talented and intelligent, but hides her light under a bushel, buried in a bunker, deep in a mountain in the desert, and then endlessly complains about her lot in life.  I was delighted to hear that our group leader (I only half jokingly think of her as Our Own Personal Oprah) has been giving her some one-on-one tough love, and it was welcomed and appreciated.  I delivered a little mild pushing on my own, telling her how it's never too late to get out on your own and do things, and I was raised pretty much the same way she was, and was always responsible for everybody else for most of my life, and my risk-taking has expanded greatly in the last decade, and mostly in the last 5 years. We may get her in for a makeover yet.

It's a great group, and we are plotting Saturdays in St. Augustine and Mount Dora, and a couple of us want to see if we can work out a group yoga class with a private instructor we like.  

So, then I ran other errands and did other stuff.  I still didn't receive the order I placed with WEBS, and I'm not very happy. I got a ship notice on half the order, and apparently it is being walked here on mules, because May 30-June 8 is too slow to blame on the U.S. Mail.  And I still didn't see a ship notice on the OTHER half of the order.  Not impressed.

So I was jonesing for a knitting project. I seriously, seriously needed to knit, needed something repetitive and rhythmic to relax my nerves and clear my head.  And this is when Ravelry really delivers.  I went into my limited remaining stash, looked at my options, and found this.

Why, yes, I DO have random skeins of Euroflax!  Why, yes, I was in the mood for something soothing and rhythmic and almost mantra like. In this case, the mantra is K2tog, yo, k2. Could I have invented it on my own after meditating upon a BGW stitch book?  Yeah, probably, but did I? Did I have time or energy? No, I did not.  And it's also a small-remaining-stash stash buster.  I'm doing a scarf in a soft rose, but I think I have enough black for a shoulder wrap.  Which would, among many other uses, be awesome over this dress. 

I have been on the fence about the maxi.  I was all, "OMG, I'd look like I'm roaming the streets in a nightgown like an escapee from an asylum!" but then the temps hit the mid-90s and the humidity went off the charts, and I'm thinking roaming the streets in a nightgown sounds pretty good.  And I see them more and more, And 50% off?  I think I want to at least try it on. I may shriek in horror and send it right back, but if it doesn't make me shriek, I would at least wear it for casual weekend things.  Because my wardrobe is Very Sad right now, and it needs this sort of kick in the ass.

Today, after the much-delayed Baby's Oil Change, I went to Home Depot to look at Kraftmaid cabinets.  I'd had another brand in mind until I read the online reviews, which were not very complimentary.  I used Kraftmaid when I remodeled the kitchen in the house in June, 2004.  I am still totally delighted with their appearance and construction, so why change brands? 

I was surprised and pleased to see that the kitchen consultant I'd talked to weeks ago was working, and wasn't busy.  We got down to business.  I've scheduled a whole-house measure, becuase yeah, flooring and bathroom vanities are in this too, and ordered a bunch of cabinet samples from the Kraftmaid website, and bought a square foot of the backsplash I liked best. 

And I may go with Formica countertops.  Because This Is Not Your Mother's Formica.  The options are amazing, the finished edges look as sleek as solid surface, and I 'd rather put my money into functional working items and useful storage than granite counters.  I'm in a condo worth $105k as-is and $130k on its best day, and I have a fixed budget for the kitchen ($15,000) beyond which is just because I have to have it. I will do that if I really want to, but I'll do it knowing there's no real return on it.

I'm also doing floors throughout, front and back balcony, new bathroom vanities, some wallpaper removal, some paint.  So yeah, I have a fixed price for this kitchen, and I know it will be hugely improved on my relatively modest budget.

 And oh yeah, I also need to do the small wet bar cabinet base and new countertop to coordinate, as it is all one big connected area.  There's that, too.

So, I'd much rather put my money into great appliances,  a nice big quality sink and quality faucet with a pull-out spray head, great task lighting, the pantry cabinet, a skinny filler spice cabinet on a wasted bit of wall by the oven, and roll-out pot storage, use a great brand of quality cabinets but not go hog-wild with trendy bells and whistles, and make this an awesomely functional, yet still quite small, kitchen.

So we priced granite countertops at $45 a foot installed on the LOW END and up to $68+ a foot installed at the higher end, and I still saw nothing that really thrilled me and screamed I MUST HAVE.  I wasn't excited by the similarly priced solid surface options.  So, I'm totally open to top of the line Formica at $28 a foot at the high end, and I swear to God, my favorite of the many options across all price points is a dark and rich and multi-toned and shimmery Formica.  Put a bullnose edge on that and it will be gorgeous and look like $12k worth of granite.  I can make This Old Condo fabulous, but I'm not an idiot who is going to improve it beyond all possible hope of break even in the next decade. 

So I am psyched and jazzed, and ready to get down to business on this project.  But tonight, I'm ready to go to bed really early. 

Better late than never, or something.

Cancer's horoscope for June.

Very positive and upbeat!  From the Horoscope Lady's keyboard to the Universe's ears....

And Storm Season Is Off and Running.

Andrea.
Lovely.  Like this week didn't have enough shit going on already.

Actually, Andrea is only predicted to give us boatloads - like, up to six inches in some areas - of rain.  No real wind and drama, at least I hope not, because this one caught me totally flat-footed - I'll live, I have the basics on hand, but not serious storm supplies.  But no worries, I'll be at work tomorrow, because if we stayed home every time we got hit with massive rainstorms in summer, nothing would ever get done.

I do feel really, really sorry for a  colleague who is going on her FIRST REAL VACATION in 33 years of marriage - meaning, a vacation that didn't involve visiting relatives.  And she's going to a Gulf beach that is about to be hit by a tropical storm.  That really, really sucks.